i believe acknowledgement needed to be put into how i manage to still be sane after 365days in this hell hole.
please refer to this post http://cerita-usang.blogspot.com/2010/11/end-beginning.html for further understanding.
just so you know, the first year celebration was a blast!! beer, beef and besties was served!
im so ready for another year!.
boo yaah!!!!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
in limbo
they say that writing can also cured troubled hearts. or at least this is what i hope to happen to me.
i cant seem to shake of the feeling that i will continue to be in this state of feeling that im in now. mostly because i, sort of, predicted that the end result will never be a win win situation.
although my identity is unequivocally blatant about who i am and where i come from, yet my self-belonging towards tribal or race attributes remained neutral, or so i believe. i am always in between. between cultures, between religions, between paradigm and sometimes between men (ha ha).
the condition of "being in between", provided me with a semi-objective point of view on things and a victim for most things. i dont really get accredited on any occasions simply because i walk it but cant talk the talk.
vague. i know.
but what i am trying to get at is that, how do you deal with the thoughts and assumptions inside your head from this condition. to be an extremist or a fundamentalist only translates into clarity, yet being "in limbo", like me, translates into endless adjustment and no-clear-cut answers for every occasion.
im talking about being trapped in a modern world, where you are no longer captivated in one small tree or one small village or even one small nationality and cultures. your travels and experience transcend way beyond simple virtue of doing things where you only adhere to one set of wisdom/norms/rules/dogma.
again, how do you go about it?
alternative one, you pray. when in doubt human pray. ask for guidance from the divine. and hope for the best.
two, you learn from experience of the elderly. with respect and admiration towards their journey. we learn to avoid their mistakes and advance on their tips and tricks.
three, you repeat steps one, two and three.
in my case, steps one, two and three lacks one thing. in the event that step one and two collides, which one triumphs?
we are taught to learn from the elderly, listen to their advice, but never to cope when their judgements are made from obsolete considerations towards today's challenges.
we are taught to believe in God, yet when things collided between humans, we dont preach the teachings of God but simply execute human laws. human rarely forgive and love or live life like Gods. we immediately draw the line on how human errors are not acceptable therefore it needed to be punished especially when it doesnt concern us personally. in the event that it does affect us, our errors are not acceptable.
we learn so many things, but none on how to bridge those differences between what is real and what we really feel.
for some lucky riders, their life are clear cut, they are thought that way. but for me, it used to be, but no longer. i have been exposed to a hostile community, a bullying society and a rigid, conventional traditional values in the midst of my modern and democratic life-long education.
my question remains, how do you go about when values - you are taught to believe - collided? which one prevails?
especially when both play a fundamental role in shaping who you are today.
do holler when a bell rings.
i cant seem to shake of the feeling that i will continue to be in this state of feeling that im in now. mostly because i, sort of, predicted that the end result will never be a win win situation.
although my identity is unequivocally blatant about who i am and where i come from, yet my self-belonging towards tribal or race attributes remained neutral, or so i believe. i am always in between. between cultures, between religions, between paradigm and sometimes between men (ha ha).
the condition of "being in between", provided me with a semi-objective point of view on things and a victim for most things. i dont really get accredited on any occasions simply because i walk it but cant talk the talk.
vague. i know.
but what i am trying to get at is that, how do you deal with the thoughts and assumptions inside your head from this condition. to be an extremist or a fundamentalist only translates into clarity, yet being "in limbo", like me, translates into endless adjustment and no-clear-cut answers for every occasion.
im talking about being trapped in a modern world, where you are no longer captivated in one small tree or one small village or even one small nationality and cultures. your travels and experience transcend way beyond simple virtue of doing things where you only adhere to one set of wisdom/norms/rules/dogma.
again, how do you go about it?
alternative one, you pray. when in doubt human pray. ask for guidance from the divine. and hope for the best.
two, you learn from experience of the elderly. with respect and admiration towards their journey. we learn to avoid their mistakes and advance on their tips and tricks.
three, you repeat steps one, two and three.
in my case, steps one, two and three lacks one thing. in the event that step one and two collides, which one triumphs?
we are taught to learn from the elderly, listen to their advice, but never to cope when their judgements are made from obsolete considerations towards today's challenges.
we are taught to believe in God, yet when things collided between humans, we dont preach the teachings of God but simply execute human laws. human rarely forgive and love or live life like Gods. we immediately draw the line on how human errors are not acceptable therefore it needed to be punished especially when it doesnt concern us personally. in the event that it does affect us, our errors are not acceptable.
we learn so many things, but none on how to bridge those differences between what is real and what we really feel.
for some lucky riders, their life are clear cut, they are thought that way. but for me, it used to be, but no longer. i have been exposed to a hostile community, a bullying society and a rigid, conventional traditional values in the midst of my modern and democratic life-long education.
my question remains, how do you go about when values - you are taught to believe - collided? which one prevails?
especially when both play a fundamental role in shaping who you are today.
do holler when a bell rings.
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