on that point Sir!

this is the first day for all of you. i have decided to make this blog public (meaning you dont have to log in or be invited to see it). the very reason i did it at first was because i dont think that im ready to be heard or seen by the outside world or i was not ready to hear what they think of me.

guess what, a recent political move by the Indonesian government was enough get me all worked up 3 days before my second exam. i usually let nothing affect my mood simply because i need to stay focus. but this one did it. i changed my status several times in a day on FB (which is not usual), i googled the exact wording of that controversial bill and cursed the doings of so-called beloved representatives.

in order for me to get my thoughts heard, i need to be out there (read: start releasing restrictions on my thoughts).

however, i need to warn you that this blog, my thoughts, my stories, my cursing, is only a glimpse of who i am. nothing like seeing things in its true form - in the real world. thus i fully realized that i am letting myself be vulnerable to scrutiny by making this public, but i also free my beloved friends from the obligation of logging in their username and password (grudges that i attend to so many times yet nothing was done about it), and i get to share my thoughts and frustration of how stupid it was to just let that bill pass without further consideration.

there are several major effects that this bill brought into my life:
1. i now understand my people dont want to live in indo after they lived abroad. why people stay away from Indo.
2. i need to brace myself for the real world.

i was going to elaborate on the very details how stupid the bill is, but since i've read enough and had enough of it, im sure you can read that somewhere else. so im just going to elaborate how this affects my life and how i see Indonesia and how disappointed i am.

a very good friend of mine decided to never go back to indo. numerous reasons. i could never see why she would take such an extreme measure since i thought how can you not want to go back to where you grew up. she always told me that it's all fucked up and there's no use fighhting for a betterment. she tried living in indo after living for around 4 years in melbourne and found herself deteriorating and frustrating over little things - the things that has always been there.
i originally take that as an excuse. simply because she had found her soulmate here in melbourne.

how does this relate to the porn bill that i immensely oppose? living here in melbourne is an eye-opener for me. i came to realize the very use of following the rules and being aware of the consequences that is going to hurt you (or at least you pocket) at times of disobedience. for example, when you do not puchase a valid metcard (your tickets to melbourne transport) you will get fined, if you get caught. the fine starts from AUD $160 and it is multiplied when you get caught again and again and again. at one point, if you get caught without a valid ticket you can be fined up to AUD $1000 - FYI, as a comparison this can get you a trip to fiji for a week. Now, most of you will probably say that 'we have rules and regulations and fines in indo too'. I agree that we do, but no one actually enforce it to the fullest extent or money overules it when it does happen.
a very common issue of enforcement.

i never realised that knowing the rules would be so important and to just agree to any bill can contributes towards an invasion on your life and privacy. of course there is no such thing like respecting privacy in Indo, simply because we are not accustomed to it. it's all collective all jolly goody big family comes first before you. the greater good will prevail and the minority shall subside.

the porn bill does not put forth any amount of money you will have to pay just in case you get caught, but worse. the bill provides you with a very broad intepretation of what porn is, so that basically almost anything that arouses you can be assumed as a form of pornography. you can see it here http://www.lbh-apik.or.id/ruu-pornografi.htm.

what is worst is that it allows investigator to go through, copy your file, computer file and other kind of media telecommunication in the name of investigation. correct me if im wrong, but the very notion of having the bill was to prevent child pornography and its impact on the lives of indonesian children and probably parents. now how does invading a private space, your space, my space, your personal files has to do with preventing this? in the case of sicko paedophilias, it might work. nevertheless, a clear definition and parameter as to how these investigation can be done was not provided just as the broad definition of nudity. lets say if i were sitting down with my laptop in a cafe and some undercover cop "smells something fishy" from the way i laugh (making sounds) and decided to raid my laptop and found the Naylin Paylin video; would i be considered a criminal for having those? forgive me for my curiosity for the famous Sarah Palin, but am i guilty for just having those even without the intention of selling or seducing anyone?

i have come to realize some Indonesian law does not in any way appreaciate what is in our head or our rights as human being. we, indonesians, are just so dumb that our gov needs to control what is in our head. a very 'noble' quest that serve no one any good. we, Indonesians, need to be reminded of how hard life can be in an interfaith marriage by the "only those who have the same religion can marry" policy.
i was so dissappointed to see that the very representative that i voted passed this ridiculous bill, because i realised that the application of this bill can invade my life, my privacy.

guess what, i was probably overacting. a friend of mine slap me on the face and said "gracia, havent you got used to this by now? they always do that. we are surrounded by stupidity. they always figure out more ridiculous way of protecting children, citizens, intellectual property, yet, no real enforcement will come into play. a mere rhetoric"

Ironic.

i've travelled overseas to be able to enrich myself with the hope of bringing betterment to my country (and to travel for sure!!) only to find that i have been cut short. how can one not want to stay here? - in the developed country - and never go back. despite the past stigma of discrimination and bad policy attitude towards immigrants, privacy is still respected. a typical case of brain drain, all those who have the ability and opportunity to escape will and have used it to stay away from indonesia. leaving it with less and less gifted human resources. im not saying that there is no more brilliant people, but can you imagine how far Indonesia can progress with most of its educated and talented people working together? a milestone.
Indonesia has about 230 million people (cia factbook, 2008). how many is educated or hold a degree? for what i realised, only few lucky ones gets a chance to experience tertiary education abroad and sadly most are not so looking forward to go back.

man, this posting is long and still i feel that i still have more to write. but i need to stop now. there's no use prolonging this agony further. bottom line, my views of Indo changed (yes deb, im admitting that), i am not so keen of going back as i was before. However, i must go back. for what? mostly because my contract with AusAid said so, or i will have to pay them back, which is not an option. because i want to see my mom. because i still hope that progress is not an utopic idea. and because by staying away would leave my country with less and less ingredients to move forward.

this is, at least, how i stand at the moment. who knows my government will come up with even more "genius" ways to keep me away from going back.