satu tahun sudah.

i believe acknowledgement needed to be put into how i manage to still be sane after 365days in this hell hole.

please refer to this post http://cerita-usang.blogspot.com/2010/11/end-beginning.html for further understanding.

just so you know, the first year celebration was a blast!!  beer, beef and besties was served!

im so ready for another year!.

boo yaah!!!!

end. beginning.

I have been wanting to post this piece since last year. As events occurred and as the process rolled. But i just could not do it. I have to many burden and fear of how this might turn out.

It all started with fear of doing nothing. fear of being left behind and fear of not being where i want to be. So i left and went straight to where it was comfortable, thinking that even if i got stuck there, at the very least, I chose to be there.

We make plans, the universe (or God or some prick) altered your plans.

It turns out, what I have become is nowhere near enough. A year goes by, another 6 months flies.

Throughout this journey, I enjoyed the stay, the environment, the people. I even tried all different kind of things to get me by. Old things, new things, all in the hope of finally reaching another level in life where your path is clear and that you do not need to look for anything else.

You were tempted by new opportunities, swayed with what the future holds as you venture through new horizon. But still, it was all just a phase and there is not future behind it.

At one point, I reached rock bottom. A place where i thought i would never be in. A place where nothing you do works, no matter how hard you try or fight for it.

What is even more unnerving is that you found out why all time, people pass you by, opportunities pass you by and you would be left thinking where the hell was I when all this are happening.

Up to here, I've been praised, put down, encouraged, discriminated, alienated, motivated and provoked.

I decided not to wait any longer. But i also do not know on where to go and where to start again.

The fear that i left behind came back haunting.

I decided to let everything go as it wants to go. Come what may... Que sera sera...

accompanied with persistence I tried everything.

yes. everything.

even those i said i would never tried.

i have lowered my expectations and put my ego aside. prepared of what may be.

The first attempt of an impossible scheme gave hope, as i manage to get a bit of my self-confident back, but the next phase was a bust!

The second try of an impossible scheme managed to gave me going all the way to the last battle. I said to myself, i better start writing all this down, but i still cant. the fear of dissappointment lingers causing me less and less quality sleep.

Finally, the day came. the day which made my mom doubted my achievements (although i am still waiting be convinced that this is an achievement).

I got in.

the second scheme pulls through, after being said to that if i were to get in, that i am either incredibly good, or incredibly well-connected; after having to convince myself that it may not be all that bad and that i may not be all that stupid; after having to hide the fact that i am not busy with anything except running schemes; after having to take up marketing and sales gig.

Gosh... now i can finally exhale...

Just so you know, the end of this leg of the race in my life is the beginning to a maybe dark, twisted, despicable place that i have to go through for the rest of my life.

I can only hope that I can stay sane and focus on what is important.

ps: i got a fortune cookie as i was waiting in vain for the announcement, it says

"You are offered the dream of a lifetime. Say yes!"

:P

The Graduate

That's rite partee people. I am the Graduate! oi oi oi!!!

got my results just now. cant wait to meet the vice chancellor. and mom is going to be here in less then 72 hours.

La vita e Bella.

Jessup Moot Court Winner

Hard work paid off, we won the battle. ladies and gentlemen, i can now proudly pronounce that i have participated in the Jessup Moot Court competition in Monash Uni and WON. yeehaaa...
my international law and policy unit gave me an opportunity to try out for this year's jessup moot competition. the memorial submission will be counted in my second assignment mark and then we had to do the verbal presentation after all exams are over. the result of the verbal will not be accounted into our mark but there are prize money for the winner, ehm.. for me. This all happened in H2.22 Monash Caulfiled Campus, Saturday June 21, 2008.

i would also like to give my appreciation for alamo and mita for their help in making it all happen. Couldnt have done it without their help.

just look at my face, this was taken after my speech, which explains the blur effect from my still-trembling hands, thus i feel the need to take a pic after my speech. i look disoriented dont you think?

Just a little background for those who is not familiar with Moot Court competition, so it is pretty much like a debate but in a court setting, kinda similar to ally mcbeal and boston legal where there are 2 sides, one respondent and one applicant -my team was the applicant, a.k.a The Winner *cheeky mode on* - and we would act as so called lawyer and would have to defend our case pleadings and hope that the ICJ (international court of justice) rule in our favor. as in a debate we also have adjudicator, but in moot it's called judges. I went as first speaker for the applicant. can you believe it? i was never a first speaker, yet i won this one as a first speaker. really need to consider a carrier as first speaker.

below is the judges, andrew from Monash uni and Jadranka from Melbourne uni Law School. pretty scary eh.. but they are really nice (hahahaha i probably wont say this if i had lost).


too bad no one was able to take pictures during the speech, since everyone was pretty much caught up with preparation and rebuttals. but these are some picts i manage to capture on recess.

Let me introduce you to the team. Here are Pete and Jakub (the second speaker) - the Boyz -

and these are the Gals - Majella, G! (First speaker) and Sarah (the third speaker)-

and here's a pict of everybody, the winning team, our lecturer Alice de Jonge (in the red robe) and the respondent (the other team)
cant believe i can actually be happy after spending a saturday at uni, one of the best days of my staying in Melbourne. Even more so, i went all night long and didnt get back till 6am the next morning. so what happened was after the whole thing was over, we all went to tabaret across uni and grab some beers, had dinner at thai safron (my first real meal of the day) and went to jakub's luxurious apartment (in st kilda, looking at the st kilda marina) cause he wanted to drop his car and change clothes and then we all cruise to richmond and went bar-hopping.

Gosh, it was my first experince in a real OZ bar, no asian around, amazing. The first bar was called 'Post Office'. Loaded with tall people which makes me feel like a midget. The place was not too big, rather small i may say. The second one was Public house, still small, lots of broken glasses, no bogans yet. And finally, the last bar, Swan hotel. this is where i can see various socio-economic condition in OZ. the carpet was sticky, a bit smelly, bad acoustics used by the live band. The highlight of my night was when a guy - a drunk guy - asked me to dance. of course i said no, but since we were standing on the dance floor and he was dancing, he brushed my but. im like WTF? and no i didnt brush his but back, i stepped aside and let him slide. dont want to mess with a drunk guy, mainly a bogan.

Just when i thought the night was over, i was wrong. After the swan, Jell asked me to hang out at Damien's place and help him finish his red wine since he's going abroad soon. He got a really nice apartment, spacious and heaps of wine although he doesnt have the view of st kilda marina. Stayed there till 5.30 and went back home. I was going to take the first train home, but Jell wont let me, she was going to pay for the taxi. I didnt let her, we ended up sharing a cab. She said that if they are your friends, a true OZ, they wont let you go back home alone on that train. If they did, they are not your friend.

Some of the boys i hang out with always put forward the "equality" principle when it comes to taking a girl home. They would argue that you wanted emancipation and equal rights therefore you should not expect boys to take you home to your doorsteps. After yesterday, i can say that argument is just mere excuse for their laziness. Nothing to do with equal rights. At least a good friend, a gentlemen, would make sure that you get home safely.

I cant believe how i happy i am, i even dance when i walk. This is a good thing.