when you are away

i always knew that when you go away from home you are bound to miss events, food, friends and even your old room.

being in Melbourne for almost 16 months now, i have missed several birthdays, one too many weddings, dirty cheap food, sweating like pig in the middle of the night and the "ceriwis" talks show.

you eventually adapt and adjust to not having those around, and probably because you know that you are going to go back therefore you dont really feel like you missing out that much.

however, again, i hate being away when this event happens. Funerals.
this is the second funerals i missed since im away. not to say that i like and look forward to attending funerals but how can you get over the fact that you are away when someone you know and care passed away?.

i dont get a chance to say goodbye, i dont get a chance to be there for those being left behind, i dont get the chance to see them for the last time.

how do you cope with it?
out of all the things you missed when you are away, this is probably the most uneasy, difficult and discomforting feeling.

today, my cousin died. he left behind a wife, two toddlers and a bunch of family that cares about him. we may not be the closest cousin ever, but he is my cousin. we shared memories, histories, good and bad.

i used to hope that one day after all of the diseases that has crippled him, he would rise and get better and then he would provide me with the possibilities of meeting "Aksan Syuman" , he used to be Dewa's drummer and his buddy back in junior high school, my all time favorite guy. Guess this is not happening.

Rest in peace, Bang.

ps: i handed out my assignment, did tutoring and manage to survive my presentation - it wasnt that bad after all. i Didnt quit and i did get most of the votes.