ADAM weekend

another OZ debating competition i entered last weekend. no preparation, no practice, last minute team matching, gone down with a cold, won only one round and didnt even go to the last round. But i did get myself a taste of turksih dish and chinese noodle box.

im beginning to understand why young people are always the one with the spirit and energy, cause once you get older, you had enough, it doesnt seem to have the same take on you anymore. you are comforted by the fact that life is not about winning anymore, and there is more to life than winning. or maybe im just saying this to comfort myself from not being the eager-winning-biatch anymore.

as i look back to my joyous debating era, i can see that i was once an eager biatch that sets her heart on taking the world. and i had my partner in crime and i always had the better team and position. whilst here, i am no one, a newbie, with other newbie that is not exactly the top-debater-of-them-all. this all might just be my excuse to make me feel better, but seriously, now i know what it's like to look at me in a debating competition. im crippled without my wingman and my legacy. so this is how if feels to be on the other side of the coin.

as i went from one competition to another, i kinda enjoy being under the radar, i was given the challenge to proof that i am someone, or at least are good in something. but, the agony of going over the process endlessly comparing what you had and what you are going through raises its own debate in my head. why do i even bother? i set my heart on joining MAD (Monash Association of Debaters) this semester (checked) and got so irritated by the competition with a fellow indo debaters (whose name should not be mentioned), and finally settled with the agreement that im in it for the love and fun i had for debating and that it should not in any way bother me on whoever or whatever situation i might encounter during the process. so far, my effort should be rewarded. im still alive n kickin, not so thrilled about winning though - odd.

i am grateful for the chance i got, not everyone gets the chance to taste all the world has to offer - the good and the bad - What i need to work on now is how to put the bad as a lesson and a reminder of how i have lived a good life and is grateful for having it. Thanks for asking me to joing your team Jenny - Will, it was a pleasure to be in a team with you guys.